5 Time It's Not OKAY

 To hook up with someone your friend has been with?

After a recent slew of dramas between myself and my friends I have noticed that one issue has the ability to split all of my friends clearly down the middle; the differing opinions of people varying as much as their respective personalities. So, after listening to too many opinions and gathering an abundance of information I have devised my version of “girl code guideline.”

She knew.

Think

If any girl uses the word “think” in relation to the guy you want to steal off her; “I think I like him”. Do. Not. Do. It. Even if it’s an “I don’t think I like him” if there’s any room for doubt as soon as you make your move you can be sure she’ll manoeuvre and you’ll be the bitch who stole her man... Ain’t nobody got time for that.

First.

If the man in question was your friends “first” anything. First kiss, first time, first love letter, first broken heart, first guy to give her flowers, heck, if it’s the first guy to do anything and if she persistently refers to this whenever his name comes up or when you’re explaining the relevance of him to someone who has never met him before STAY AWAY.  

Stranger: Who’s Mick? 

Friend: Oh, he’s just this guy, the first guy to hold my hand in public.” 

Even if she says it with a nonchalant air AVOID HIM AT ALL COSTS. She still holds a flame for him and you will put your friendship in jeopardy. “I can’t believe you hooked up with the first guy I went to the cinema with”. Yes, when the opposite sex is involved, something so seemingly irrelevant is huge.

Bad Mouths.

“No, like, he’s actually a really bad person.” “I’m not even angry at him anymore; I just pity the next girl he’s with.” “I HATE HIM SO MUCH HE’S A TURD ON A MOUNTAIN OF TURDS!!!” If there’s any bad mouthing, any bad mouthing at all it’s as clear, as the day is long, that there’s something still there. She may just be harbouring unnecessary anger and you may deem it about time for her to move on but that is not for you to decide. If you make your move on this fella that is, clearly, a dickhead you’ll get a) more than you bargained for and b) a fight with one of your friends. Is he worth it? Thought not.

*

“Friends”

Ahhhh the flirtationship; this is the crux of every situation. Are they? Aren’t they? Will they? Ever? Is it ok for me to go there? She’s not doing anything about it fast? NO. IT IS NOT OK. My experience with flirtationships is that you simply don’t realise how much you care about or how great the other half of your flirtationship is until someone else realises. Then? You’ll do anything to get them to be yours. Sometimes it’s too late, but sometimes it works and this will result in the “other woman” (you) getting hurt and drop kicked through the goalposts of rejection faster than you can say “but you guys are just friends?”  This is possibly the worst one. You’ll be hurt, she’ll resent you and, true to masculine form, he’ll be confused. Absolutely no winner here.

If she says no.

You could simply be very honest and forward friends (something I commend and recommend wholeheartedly) and you may have asked her if it’s ok for you to make your move. If she says no, that means no. Don’t try and dance around it, honesty has prevailed in this situation so maintain it. Your friendship will grow stronger and let’s be real, you’ll probably get bored of the guy if you do get him.

god yes.

*Again, these are based on research of my group of friends, we may be over cautious but I accept no responsibility for missed opportunities, my motto, if you never try, you’ll never know. (Just never at the expense of a girlfriend.)