Ensuring your friends misery while you're away? Here's how!

Originally published in Studenty, an online magazine, check it out :D

I woke up this morning to the rain pattering gently on my window and a cloudy overcast sky. I put on my slipper socks and went downstairs to have some warm tea and soothing porridge. Sounds like a pretty beautiful Sunday morning in the middle of November, right? Except it’s June, it’s JUNE!!! All of us poor unfortunates, who didn’t have the funds or the foresight to arrange plans for the summer, are stuck in Ireland, with the perpetually indesicive, sticky, sweaty weather and the same people most of us have known since we were twelve or thirteen and we’d rather not have to see everyday for the “best summer ever, 2012”

While we’re suffering away here, dealing with the weather and unsociable working hours our lovely friends who had excessive amounts of money and the intelligence to actually plan for the summer are happily rubbing our collectives faces in it.

First of all can we start with before they go ... Does anyone really want to help their best friend pack up enough clothes for three months of them living the life when you know you’re not going anywhere further than the outskirts of Conamarra, and let’s face it, who wants to go there? They’ll ask, under the pretence of “spending as much time together as we can before I go”, you’ll accept, you fool, and you shall sit there for an hour, maybe two listening to all their plans, your heart beginning to simmer with jealousy and you’ll eventually have to leave before you lash out with sheer resentment.

Now, I love a good aul Facebook check in every now and again just to reassure people that I’m having the time of my life, all the time. Therefore, I can appreciate these sporadic check ins. I, however, did not appreciate every single person who was leaving the country checking in at Terminal 1 or 2 (I wouldn’t know because I’m still in Galway), Im pretty sure very few people appreciated it. All those well wishers commenting underneath wishing you a good holiday, they didn’t mean it, don’t be fooled!

Now, let’s discuss the numerous promises of having Skype dates. Do you actually want to talk to your friend in the blistering sunshine in California, surrounded by beautiful members of the opposite sex and charming everyone left, right and centre with the heaviest accent they could possibly put on? While we sit here, pasty white and abandoned by our friends? I don’t think so. So, when you go, set up a Skype account, but please, do it solely for your parents, no one else wants to see your tanned, happy face!!

So, for all you j1’ers and you inter railers or you people travelling around France or Italy somewhere, just in case you think we care, we don’t. Please, let us be blissfully ignorant to how much fun you are having! Let us live in our own ignorance and we will assume that you are simply pretending to enjoy your summer, you’re really home sick and missing the rain. Yes, living in our own ignorance for sure J